Dear friend, maybe nothing is wrong with you. You grab? Let me tell you how I mean.
See, if you’re gonna test if you’re a funny, caring, loving or loveable person, practise with kids. You know why? They don’t really know how to hide how they feel. If you made them laugh, they would. If you make them mad, they will show their exasperation.
But you see adults? Either via life experiences, or maybe worse, self-deprecation, they have developed the habit/skill of masking how they feel. Such that you can’t tell exactly how they feel because they act just the opposite.
What didn’t make them mad the other day perhaps because they successfully concealed their annoyance suddenly makes them mad today, leaving you confused. You’re mad at yourself, “Why am I such a jerk?!”
Calm down, you’re not. It got to them the first time, but this time their armor (mask) is weak—sometimes caused by their mood at the moment.
The issue is not always you. If adults open up like the kids do, perhaps things would be different. But, no, in situations you can’t control you just have to stay sane and tell yourself, “I got me”.
About reading humans. In my experience, if you’re not a trained psychologist—and by profession—or a profiler, you can’t exactly read people by yourself. You may only think you can.
See, let me tell you something. Firstly, be confident in yourself that you are a good person and then learn to ask people (adults) directly, “How do you feel about this or that?”. And if you are lucky enough to be relating with someone who understands themselves—many people just don’t—and are open to telling you, good for you. Simply learning a few things about their past, how they came to be, is a step into knowing them.
But until then, you can’t or won’t know exactly how to relate with them without making them angry or getting confused around them. Just ask. Nothing is wrong with you.
Hagios Akins
[…] is mostly full of fantasy, undefined wish-wish. That is the foundation of the problem you have in relating with people and understanding them—you fantasise a lot in your relationships. You don’t ask questions. You wish things were […]