Everybody is valuable, we have imbedded in us great potentials which we need to explore and let the world see. We are all important to each other because no man is an island of knowledge. We gather our potential, values to create something beautiful. But many people look down on themselves and some do not believe they can be important or valuable to the world. Remember, using your potential, no matter how little it is to help just one person is already you helping the world.

Continuing from my previous post on the truth about self-appreciation, here are the things you need to do to understand your values and love yourself more.

How to Discover Your Values and Love Yourself More

1. Discover Yourself

The Britannica Dictionary defined self-discovery as the act or process of gaining knowledge or understanding of your abilities, characters and feelings.

Self-discovery is very important—to study yourself and know what you can do best. Everyone knows that except we want to be lazy or have no opportunity to bring forth the potential to light. Once you know what you are best at, no matter how little it is, it can make you a new man. Build on that little thing and make it big such that everyone sees why they need you. Once you discover your true self, self-related problems are easily solved, because you will naturally go for what suits you best. Another great thing about self-discovery is that you don’t need to try to be someone else because you have already discovered yourself.

2.  Accept yourself

Understand that you are different from others and so many things about you are different from others. The best way to move forward is to accept who you are and work on yourself. Do not try to change who you are just because you think less of yourself. It’s the same as planting a peach tree and expecting the fruit to be Apple.

Acknowledge your abilities, embrace your flaws and work to become a better person. Admit your mistakes and forgive yourself, always giving yourself chances to become better. Love yourself and treat yourself right. Eat good food, laugh a lot and do a lot of exercise.

According to Coco Chanel, “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself”. No man is ugly, but you can become better. Understanding that your imperfections are what makes you a perfect version of yourself gives you peace of mind.

No matter where you come from, your colour, your shape, your language or your tribe, people will appreciate you only when you appreciate yourself.

3.  Work hard

A lazy man has nothing to boast about. A lazy man should not feel inferior because he out rightly doesn’t want to do anything. Only those who feel they are trying hard but yield nothing would appreciate themselves less. As such, find the loopholes and change your strategy. Change everything that seems not right. Change your approach to your definition of hard work. Push yourself to be better than yesterday. Increase your worth daily by surfing ideas, gathering the ideas and bringing them to life.       

4.  Be Contented

Over time, many people have misinterpreted contentment as a state of being in a stagnant position. Contentment solely means appreciating the little you have while working harder to become the best. A man that is not contented will never see his potential and worth, and when he fails to see it, he will build on nothing. Contentment makes you live at peace with yourself and others. It gives you the joy of a better tomorrow and helps you see reasons why you can be better and how to be better. It helps you to take one step at a time, helping you to achieve your goals at the right pace and it’s a matter of little time before you realise that you’ve been winning.

5.  Be Confident

You cannot be confident unless you have something to boast about, but even when many people see something to boast about, they fail to acknowledge it, and thus, they begin to feel inferior to another. No matter how great someone before you is, you must know that you are greater than someone and that someone is greater than another person. Even if you have the world, if you have no confidence in it, it will all amount to nothing and you find out that nothing is right anymore. Believe in yourself and what you can do. See reasons why you are the best of yourself and no one can be you.  You are unique and you are you.

6.  Think positively

Some people live hopelessly—they often see lots of reasons why something is impossible. When you think negative of something, you begin to feel that that thing is not worth the try. And this has made many people lose so many valuable things and people.

Be positive about yourself, and affirm yourself. Motivate yourself and be optimistic, never letting people’s opinions bring you down. When you recognize a negative thought, replace it immediately with reasons why it should and could be possible. Part of the benefits of positive thinking is that it helps to reduce stress and anxiety, giving room for solutions.

One who is always negative will never be able to achieve something tangible, nor be able to take essential risks. According to Earl Nightingale, “we become what we think about”.

Sometimes, we think positively and may not get the result we are eagerly waiting for. However, it is alright to feel disappointed. Depending on your perspective, it could boost your confidence and more knowledge about that situation. We learn from failure and rise by not giving up. That’s what keeps us soaring higher.

Tell yourself every time that “I can do it”. Your resilience makes you stronger.

7.  Be Humble

Humility is a great virtue. It’s like retreating to advance. Being humble doesn’t make you worthless, it only makes people realise your worth when you know what you are doing. A humble person is working hard yet not bragging unnecessarily.

C.S Lewis said, “humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less”. Everything in this world needs equilibrium to function properly. While appreciating yourself, be humble and filled with humanity, thinking of how to make yourself and the world better.

When you are humble, you are already great because you have something great that has been discovered. Humility will open your eyes to your flaws and help you to solve them, it will help you gain knowledge from others and an understanding of things you don’t know. It helps you to evaluate yourself and help you become better.

8.  Celebrate Others

When you see other people doing good, even better than you, celebrate them heartily. Wish them well and be happy for them. It is a perfect way to practically know if you appreciate yourself or not. It is not bad to wish for something better than theirs’, but while wishing, appreciate yourself and try to become better. You cannot increase your stature when you don’t believe in yourself. Celebrating others heartily helps you to improve, while not giving yourself unnecessary pressure or hating others for progressing. When you find out that you are beginning to dislike or hate others when they progress in life, beware of the inferiority complex.

9.  Celebrate that little win

Celebrate yourself no matter how little the achievement is. It helps boost your morale and makes you ready for the next mission. Don’t underrate yourself. Be grateful for many things and value your existence. Be with people who love and support you.

Now, is it still hard to appreciate yourself? Eleanor Roosevelt said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.

I have a friend who I asked onetime about the secret to his confidence, and he replied “I build a relationship with my body and self. I push it hard, caution it and appreciate it when it does well”.

Iyanla Vanzant said that “a comparison is an act of violence against the self”.  The greatest friendship you can have is with yourself and with that, you can control many things.

So, why wage war against yourself when you are already unique in your differences?

See you in the next post, friend.