I first learnt from a movie how it is possible for you to lie about a thing to yourself for a long time and you lose grip of the actual truth. Although, the way they portrayed it in the show does not really match reality to me. Or let me say, I have not seen it happen that way yet.

Note, this is not the same as forgetting important details of an event. No, it is intentionally choosing to lie about something till it becomes THE TRUTH to you.

We are in the habit of lying. We lie about almost everything. We lie about our desires, we lie about our intentions. We live years by these lies. We live unauthentic lives.

We stick to it because it appears safer; because our report is accepted by everyone at the moment and we do not wish to state otherwise. We enjoy the praise. We like the fact that we are accepted by everyone for the fake personality we put forth. Hence, we lose touch with who we really are.

No, you do not love him, you only love his money. If the cash were not there, he would never be an option. You marry him for his money. You keep saying you love him for his personality—the lie you tell yourself and everyone. Unfortunately, everyone believes you. You believe yourself. You call yourself his wife. Everyone calls you “good wife”; and you two, “good couples”.

No, you did not like eye lashes. It did not make you prettier. But you use it because they say it makes you prettier. And when you do not use it, you see a baboon in your mirror—who was not there before. Miraculously, you become a model for eye lashes. Hence, you say on public TV, “I Like Eye Lashes”. The new lie becomes the truth for you.

Wait, have you ever asked if the current life you are living is not all a facade? Can you track the point where you changed the trajectory to people-pleasing?

Sometimes we wish some things were true. We route for them instead. We make a wine off their juice. We neglect reality. But the truth is, oftentimes, our wishes do not alter reality. We eventually come back to what is real and here. Reality is beneath the mascara, very close to your nose. He becomes broke, reality then pays you an august visit. You will serve it wine.

See, the Bureau of Truth is quite more subtle, swifter, than FBI. It eventually catches up with you.

Lying/hiding/evading only pend your trouble. You can only escape by dying. And if you are unfortunate to live till it knocks your door; well, you are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent because anything you say can/will be used against you in the court of Truth—life would become miserable for you in jail.

I am of the opinion that fornication is not the only sin against one’s own body, lying to oneself is, too—stacking problems for the future You, who is completely innocent of the stupidity your present self is perpetrating.

See, my analogies may be a hard bite, but if lying, hiding and evading is what you call figuring yourself and becoming better version of you; well, on that, I rest my case.

Mine sincerely,

Me.