Hi friend, it’s been a while around here. I’ve been really busy at school—exams and all. Learning sucks, right? Sometimes, yes, it does. But in the long run, I guess there’s a fruit from the labour. And that is why we must all keep learning, not necessarily academics though, you know? Let’s say something else that has more to do with us as individuals. I mean really personal stuff—things that make us who we are and as well allows us to enjoy what we’ve become or are becoming.
Without further ado, there is something I want to share with you today, the basic things you should consider to improve your quality to your life.
1. Quit Worrying
Okay, friend, do you feel restless and have trouble relaxing? Do you have a hard time concentrating? Do you get easily startled? Do you have trouble controlling your nervousness? Do you always scan for future threats? Or you feel resentful? If yes, chances are that you worry a lot and it’s affecting your goal of becoming the person you dream to be in life. Becoming a high-quality individual in life, worrying for you is a roadblock. This habit—stressing unnecessarily over things—is something you have to cut out of your life. Really, study has it that 90% of the things you worry about don’t happen eventually. So, now, why do you have to stress over things that has that a high probability of not coming true.
In my experience, people worry a lot because they are scared of a lot of things that could go wrong. But I figured that if you substitute that fear with faith, things would change dramatically for you. Yes, I mean, instead of focusing on a lot of things that could go wrong, why not focus instead on lots more that could go right?
Fear is not real. Worrying probably is affecting you already. The reason why you can’t sleep; the reason why you can’t concentrate; the reason why you can’t shake off upset etc. You should do away with it really. Hang out with friends, vibe, enjoy, relax. Challenge the thought. Does it really warrant the stress? Let things unfold while you keep telling yourself, “Despite the outcome, I’ll handle it”. And yes, you will.
2. Expect Less from People
Well, seriously, I can’t over emphasize this. And it’s one way connected to the point I mentioned earlier. Probably, one of the reasons why you worry is because you expect too much from people.
Well, let me break it to you, other than your client who hasn’t paid you, nobody exactly owes you anything in life—not your parents, not your siblings, not your friend. Everyone is fending for themselves—everyone is selfish. Everyone denies it—including you. Yes, remember why you compliment strangers for their cologne? Yes, you do that because their smell makes you happy. It’s always you—just you. So, don’t blame them. You owe yourself.
Why you feel disappointed by people is because you expect too much from them. So, let me give you a formula to overcome disappointments from expecting too much from people. This is it: every time you ask someone to do something for you, use the 50:50 rule. That is, the probability of them doing it is half (1/2). That is, if they do—fine. And if they don’t—you’re not surprised. Life continues.
According to Bob Taibbi, L.C.S.W, of psychologytoday.com, when you have no expectations, you benefit in the following ways:
- You take responsibility for your decisions
- You separate your wants from should
- You avoid feeling disappointed and angry
- You avoid becoming a martyr
- You live in the present
That third point looks familiar, right? It’s what I’m saying in particular.
“Well, Akins, isn’t that having trust issues?”, Well, friend, that stuff—expecting nothing—has saved me from heartbreaks countless times and in fact made me stronger. Ease the should’ves—no one should have done anything for you. The few that have done a few things for you did because they loved you and wanted to. They don’t owe you goodwill. I told you that you owe yourself, right? You do. Well, pay the debt.
You can do it. You can make a high-quality of yourself.
3. Find Your Path
You see, prior to this time, you may have heard this same concept in the form, “Find your purpose”. Well, for the sake of this post, let’s just say, “Find your path”. Finding your path or purpose is simply finding what makes you happy and at the same time beneficial to the people around you. However, this doesn’t include trying to become someone else—no, just a better you. That is, it adds value to you and to the people that know you.
Find a new hobby—reading, writing, public speaking, etc. Choose a career path. Quit jobs that deter your achieving good success in life.
“But why do I have to find my own path? And how does finding my path help to improve my quality of life?”, you say.
Well, among other things, it does these in numerous ways:
- Finding and following your path gives you a sense of focus in life. The more you steer the clearer it appears to you—what to do.
- Finding your path keeps you busy; it occupies you and it saves you the time of having to pursue things that devalue you. Really a lot of hobbies, habits remove quality from your life.
- Finding your path will at some point bring you the bag—I mean, earn you some money. People would pay you to learn what you’ve seen and acquired over time.
- Finding your path brings people who would genuinely follow the road you’re paving. Instead of pursuing 100 people, 100 people start looking for you. You assume the position to choose, not the other way round.
It’s sweeter than honey, right? What do you think about this point? Tell me in the comments.
Next, please.
4. Love as Many as You Can, Not Everyone
Freely did you receive, and freely should you give, too. It’s that simple. Love as many as you can as much as you can. Life is too short to nurse hatred. You know what hatred does you? It raises your blood pressure. Let me add this line from psychmatters.co.za, “Hatred also triggers the mind to try to predict what the actions of the person being hated may do, as a way to protect you, but this leads to further anxiety, restlessness, obsessive thinking and paranoia, which also impacts negatively in the way you engage in relationships.”
I can’t stress that unfortunately, quite an insane number of people die yearly because of high blood pressure. More than 494,873 people in the United States alone in 2018. I bet at least 2 times that number in later years. High blood pressure is triggered by hate. And when you have too many people in your life that you abhor, then you have quite a number of lethal points you must incapacitate.
So, instead of keeping them around, why not ditch them? Trust me that’s the Sniper rifle.
If you feel uncomfortable around anybody, simply cut ties with them. You don’t necessarily have to keep around yourself people who are not even trying to not piss you off. Again, I say, Love as many as you can only.
And if your love is unrequited—as in romantically—take it back and move on with your life. Go on adventures, meet new people, connect with highly productive people whom you find interesting and as well value you. Don’t stress it. It’s how you become a high value person.
5. Take good care of yourself
Eating healthily, exercising and having enough rest are habits you must take along on your path to becoming a high-quality man or woman.
There is no way you can be productive if you always fall sick because of nutrient deficiencies—no way. There is no way you’ll ever have a quality life if when you’re supposed to be active, you’re always feeling sleepy because of lack of sufficient sleep—no way.
When you exercise regularly, you burn unnecessary fat in your body—fats that could store up and compromise your bodily functions. Cut out junk foods. Go for low cholesterol foods. Reduce your sugar intake.
You may not really have so large a material stuff to give to your loved ones, but your sound health could be an amazing gift to them. Live healthily.
In conclusion, leading a high-quality life isn’t such a hard thing to do, right? Just a few buttons to push and habits to take on or stop.
So, friend, let me know in the comments if this helps you. Also, ensure you share this post to a friend. See you in the next post.
Your friend,
Hagios Akins
Summary
- Quit Worrying
- Expect Less from People
- Find your path
- Love as many as you can, not everyone
- Take good care of yourself
- Bonus: Meditate