Let me set the record straight before I start diving into the article proper: this post is not a scheme to instill into you the “holier than thou” mentality. And as a matter of fact this post is not included in the religion category of this blog even though it may be helpful to Christians, Muslims and other religious folks reading this. But I’d rather let it just be, addressing humanity and life with an open mind void of sentiments, biasness or irrational diplomacy; and at possible best close enough to what a rational human being can assimilate and present to friends and family for their aggrandisement.

I personally believe that this life is a mess and that we humans make it messier by the decisions we make on regular basis; from our choice of food, words, actions, numbness and the things we allow to happen to us. Nothing evil just happen, we let it happen. We allow it directly or indirectly. You allow yourself to be duped by either being stupid or naive or both. You let your heart to be broken. You let yourself to be depressed by current action/situation or by the things you have done in the past—those things catch up sometimes, though. Also, you allow yourself to remain tormented steadily by these feelings by refusing to admit reality—this is a Ponzi scheme, he is a scumbag. No, you denied all that.

There is something you must know about reality over fantasy: it is truer than you can imagine in the moment—it is real. Reality is not heaven and hell; it is here and now, where you can be physically hurt. It’s only an imagination in your head that you are eating pizza or having sex with Kim Kardashian West, but the reality is closer to you than the stick of your nose, you are simply biting your tongue and swallowing your saliva—oh, poor you—that’s truer; you are only jerking off to porno, nothing more or less. Kim knows who she opens her legs for, night and day, and the sad fun is that, bro, that person is not you—that’s truer. You are not having sex; you are only masturbating.

See, the truth is, most of the relationship you have with the next man is mostly full of fantasy, undefined wish-wish. That is the foundation of the problem you have in relating with people and understanding them—you fantasise a lot in your relationships. You don’t ask questions. You wish things were working in a particular way. You neglect what you can actually behold with your eyes and feel in your palms—what really is. She doesn’t like oral sex, you said “OK” but you’d want some warm mouth around your dick during sex, but you couldn’t tell her in an upfront and straightforward manner. You don’t want to lose her because her family is rich. You marry her. Fast-forward, you’re divorced because of cheating—getting your dick sucked from outside. You’re foolish!

He’s an asshole but he’s good in bed and you like sex, you think (imagine) that when you give him more sex in the long run he will change and become a “headpinnacle”, but unfortunately he is what he is. Look who is a punching bag now? And I’m not sorry to break it to you, you will remain a punching bag if you keep denying what’s real and true—he’s an asshole and you don’t truly want him. Quit fantasizing in your relationships—wishing things worked in a particular way—when in the actual sense you are only crying for the moon. That is not faith, that is being simply foolish, too.

As I said before, I will add more. The problem we are facing mostly in our health—stress and depression, relationships, etc., ensue mostly not from the things we say, rather, from the things we refuse to say—things we are actually thinking—perhaps because we fear rejection (losing friendship/relationship) or disapproval (what people will think of us). Trust me, friend, all that is bullshit! See, regardless of what you say or do, people who REALLY love you will stay with you. Ditch everyone who only superficially loves you—who cannot accept you for you. You cannot make anyone stay by lying to them. It’s stressful. You are simply manipulative if you do, playing mind games with them, and I can tell you are a BLOODY WITCH! And regardless of how high your bishop cap is, you are a WIZZARD! If everything was according to the Jewish custom, you deserve to be stoned to death! Yes, till life falls completely out of you. It’s that serious.

You care about what people say? Let him who has never thought of evil in his entire life be the first person to throw dirt at you! Everybody is just a hypocrite, religious or not, preacher or not. Porno industry makes billions of dollars every year, yet only few persons admit to ever watching porn. You hardly find such confessions in the church. No, everyone is a saint. Only unbelievers make the figures. Bullshit! For many, sex talks are immoral—improper they say, exhilarating they think and feel. Hypocrites! But you, you deserve some accolade for growing up (I expounded this in Adulthood, read with a bottle of lemonade please). You just have balls to be honest and straightforward about who you are and what you are thinking. Trust me, not many can do that. Do not seek people’s approval, it’s exhausting, and it’s not even worth it. People are simply frustrating.

Dr. Brad Blanton in his book, Radical Honesty: How to transform your life by telling the truth, says, “This concern about controlling the opinions of others and keeping control of ourselves kills more people than any form of environmental stress.” That is the truth. To be honest is simply to be true to your intentions and straightforwardly expressing them always. It’s not in any form showing that you are more proper or sincere or better than the bloody liar—though you actually are—but to extricate you from depression and other related health issues, saving you from having to stress your nerves from lying and thinking of more lies to support your already dispatched breathtaking lies. This, particularly, is delivering you from your own demon not a scheme to approve of your “holier than thou” stupidity. You are being manipulative if that is your goal. I’d say you deserve to be beheaded like the WITCH if that’s your goal for embarking on this honesty ride. Love and trust will come naturally, true, but they are not your mission or motivation, commanding ease into your body is. And with this, you manipulate no one.

To keep this post short, I will have to end here, though I have many more things to write: Radical honesty and faith, for the sake of religion; Radical honesty in relationships, more about friendship, dating and marriage; Radical honesty in expressing anger and disapproval, etc.; and more on people-pleasing. A lot of things will be said and for the sake of latter readers, I will link them to this post as soon as I publish each of them. But you hit the SUBSCRIBE button now to keep posted on these new topics by email. And don’t forget to share this post if you honestly find it interesting, share your thoughts too in the “leave a reply” box below. I will share more personal stories in the subsequent posts regarding honesty. But until then, remain radically honest. Despise disingenuity. Be upfront and straightforward with your intention regarding every fucking thing and being you deal with henceforth.

Recommended books:

• Alan Roger Currie books are particularly about honesty too, but mainly for men relating with women. I read most of his books already, like four of them. Just google him and enjoy his books.
• Radical Honesty: How to transform your life by telling the truth (1996) by Dr. Brad Blanton.
• Approval Addiction: Overcoming the need to please everyone (2005) by Joyce Meyer for Christian readers.
• Models: Attract Women through Honesty (2016) by Mark Manson (the author of The subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck). I’m still reading this one though, but it’s been interesting so far.

Yours with honesty,

Hagios A. Akins